Show #129 January 24, 2015

For Cecile... but really for
Jaime on our 23rd Wedding Anniversary!

Cecile- The Marshalls Wicked Good Music! 
Color Eyes- L.A. Burgers L.A. Burgers 
Navigation By the Stars- The Successful Failures Captains of Industry, Captains of War 
Don't Think About It- The Vertebrats A Thousand Day Dream 
Superstar- The Merrymakers Bubblegun 
Got A Hold On Me- The Britannicas High Tea 
When You're Not Around- Chino Mala Leche 
Sometimes- The Stranglers Rattus Norvegicus 
^Starry Eyes- The Records DIY: UK Pop II (1978-79) Starry Eyes 
Modern Pests- The Cute Lepers Can't Stand Modern Music 
Everything But Love- Dogs Legendary Lovers 
Jacob's Ladder- The Monochrome Set The Lost Weekend 
Call Yourself A Man- The Heats Have An Idea 
One Last Night- The Atlantics Big City Rock 
*Big Brown Eyes- The dB's Stands for Decibels 
*Eyes Of Green- Joey Ramone ...Ya Know? 
*Red Eyes- Helmet Boy Helmet Boy 
*Hazel Eyes- Redd Kross Researching The Blues 
*Pale Blue Eyes- The Velvet Underground The Velvet Underground 
*Brown Eyes- Gary Charlson Titan: It's All Pop! 
Yesterday's Love- Any Trouble Where Are All the Nice Girls? 
The Sky Is Falling- The Semantics Powerbill 
Popular Girl- The Strand Seconds Waiting 
Run Mascara Run- The Rubinoos 45 
Things Have Changed Now- Blue Ash Front Page News 
Is There Anybody In My World?- Little Murders Stop Plus Singles 1978-1986 
>Brown Eyed Handsome Man- Chuck Berry The Anthology  
Can I Crash Here- The Flys See For Miles (1978-1980) 
Postcards- Warm Soda Young Reckless Hearts 
Cemetery Gates- The Smiths The Sound Of The Smiths 
Bright Eyes Darkened- Slobberbone Everything You Thought Was Right Was Wrong Today 

^Power Pop Prototype:  #56 Billboard Hot 100 9/29/79

*SacroSet:  Color Eye Songs

>Power Pop Prototype:  1956

Today is my wedding anniversary- Jaime and I have been married for 23 years!  If you ask either of us the secret of our longevity the answer might surprise you.  Yes, there's love, trust, and  communication- the bread and butter of therapists, writers and all those who make their living in the marriage support industry.  Yet for Jaime and I the answer is much simpler:  Couch Time.  Every night of the week we are both home we spend at least an hour sitting beside each other on the couch watching something on TV.  Would it be better if we held each other's chins and gazed longingly into each other's eyes for that hour?  Maybe but- c'mon we're talkin' 23 years people!  The key to Couch Time is that it is a shared experience, something we both want to do.  So let, me explain the rules of Couch Time:

1. We both watch the same thing (which is not as easy as it sounds- see below);
2. No laptops, no cell phones, etc. (I'd add our kids to this list of annoying distractions to be avoided, but Jaime has this 24/7 concept of parenting that I often find tedious);
3. The consuming of snacks (both of us), martinis (Jaime) and Diet Coke (me) does not commence until the chosen program has begun;
4. No talking during the program (this is my rule- in 23 years Jaime has not kept it once, but that's why they invented the pause button). 

No doubt #1 on this list is the greatest challenge- finding something we both want to watch.  The issue is that for me, words on a movie poster like "harrowing," "bleak," "a seething vortex of mendacity," "violence that would make ISIS blush" and "in Sinhalese with English subtitles" are not deal breakers.  Truth be told, if the Rotten Tomatoes score is high enough, I will actively seek out films with these attributes.  Jaime not so much- especially when it comes to violence.  Back in the day though, she was on board.  In 1994 we went to see Once Were Warriors at the Lumiere Theater on California Street in San Francisco.  Scenes from that film are seared onto my brain- it is a difficult to watch and beautifully made film.  To this day it informs my thoughts about women who live with violent men and how our modern world chews up and spits out indigenous cultures.  Jaime would no doubt agree with the "relentless sledgehammer of a film" assessment above, but she was as moved by Once Were Warriors as I was.

Mallory will see you now....

Jaime liked Natural Born Killers even more than me- the violence, the sex, the violence, the media satire, the violence, the social commentary- she was down with all of it.  What's more, while I hope no one "likes" the James Gandolfini/Patricia Arquette scene in True Romance- easily one of the most brutal ever in a Hollywood movie- Jaime and I both thought it was a great film.  I imagine about now you're thinking two

Tony Soprano is a choir boy next to this guy!

things.  First, "Tarantino wrote some amazing films before he started making cartoons like Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained."  And second, "what changed Jaime's taste- why won't she watch violent movies with Rick anymore?"  

My theory is that having children changed my wife on a cellular level.  She has always been a very sympathetic person- this is trait I believe she and I share.  When I'm watching well written, acted and directed movies I have an unguarded sympathy for the people up on the screen.  Truth be told, I cry a lot more in movies than I do in real life.  When Jaime had our children, I think her internal switch clicked permanently from "sympathy" over to "empathy."  Instead of feeling FOR the people on the screen, she is feeling WITH them- every punch, stab, shot, etc.  Once I made this connection, it was easy to see why Jaime could literally no longer stomach violence in

movies and TV shows.  When she sees me watching something like Sons of Anarchy or John Wick (both of which I wholeheartedly love) she'll ask "why do you want to put that into your body?"  The question makes it seems like these are products I'm physically consuming- which for her they are.  She would probably throw up during even the most tame Sons of Anarchy episode- especially this last season.

Jaime recently pointed out that in the last few years she had seen very few of the movies and TV show on my annual Top 5 Lists.   This is not solely due to my interest in (my wife would say "obsession with") violence, but it's a major factor.  There certainly are a lot of movies like Snowpiercer and Spring Breakers joining TV shows like Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead on each year's list.  In my defense I can site several non-violent movies like Boyhood and The Spectacular Now on past lists, yet when I try to apply the same standard to TV, well that's not so easy.  You have to go back to Happy Endings in 2011 to find a Top 5 TV show of mine that did not include a murder.  Ouch!  We need another season of Louie up on Netflix stat!

When I was growing up I loved James Bond movies and TV shows like S.W.A.T.- I've been watching people shoot at each other my whole life.  Not everything I watch is violent of course- we are in a golden age of TV comedy with Black-ish, Veep, Key and Peele, Silicon Valley, etc.  I haven't seen The Affair or Masters of Sex yet, but it's easy to see that they've substituted sex for violence to hold your interest- which I have absolutely no problem with, mind you.  As for sex and violence free dramas, those are harder to come by.  Jaime and I like Rectify and The Good Wife but those seem to be exceptions.  I really liked the first season of Downton Abbey but in Season 2 they jumped the shark trying to amp up the drama.  (Could the horribly burned soldier be the lost heir of Downton?  For one episode he could!)  That's the thing- the essence of drama is conflict and it is tough to sustain without creating the life and death situations you encounter in most violent TV shows.  

Jaime gets mad when I tease her about her distaste for screen

violence; "c'mon babe, Hugh Grant can only make so many movies, give the guy a break!"  Yet to be fair, she loved Broadchurch, True Detective and Orphan Black- all of which include some pretty dark stuff.  Yes there have been speed bumps- she didn't speak to me for a day after we watched the "White Bear" episode of Black Mirror (she didn't even finish it, I watched the last 25 minutes on my laptop in the proverbial doghouse).   At the same time, we are halfway through Fargo, which is downright nasty, and she's enjoying it as much as I am.  Jaime doesn't like the violence, but there is enough story there to make it tolerable.  I'm thankful for this because it makes for some high quality Couch Time!  Happy Anniversary Darlin'!

Link to this show is below (click to stream or to download, right click and "Save Link As")
ALL KINDSA GIRLS #129